Thursday, August 07, 2003
CONFRONTATION
It may seem strange that I would consider confrontation a part of Unconditional Love necessary to a Biblical friendship. Remember I said these two, Commitment and Confrontation, must be kept in proper balance.
Again, much of my thinking about Biblical friendship comes from my study of the Book of Proverbs. Here is what chapter 27, verses 5 & 6 say: “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
It says wounds from a friend are to be trusted, not enjoyed! I have experienced this. One whom I consider my best friend openly rebuked me. It hurt but it was truthful. It has taken time for those wounds to heal. But they were like the wounds of the surgeon’s knife—meant to cure, not destroy. And I believe they did. They caused me to re-examine my life in critical areas regarding the friendship. I am trying to re-vamp my attitudes and actions. I like to think I am succeeding and am slowly becoming a better person and I hope a better friend because I have a faithful friend who was willing to confront me when I needed correcting.
In our generation there is a softness that is a weakness rather than a strength. This weakness often masquerades as compassion. It is not compassionate to let anyone or any relationship head for certain disaster and destruction without doing what you can to stop them.
I must have such a strong commitment to my friend and our relationship that I am willing to confront. I thank God that I have such a friend. A weakness of my personality is that I avoid confrontation. I need to be willing to set that characteristic aside and Biblically confront if necessary.
I am not advocating arbitrary confrontation. I’m stressing a friendship that has already been developed. In the New Testament, rebuke is always on the basis of relationship. The moment I begin to build a relationship I am compelled to develop also a relationship of confrontation. I must always follow Biblical principles when I confront. Such things as, “Speak the truth in love,” and others. I must do it in the spirit of Galatians 6:1. (I’ll let you look that one up!) This is part of being an Accountability Partner—asking those hard questions and being willing to answer those hard questions truthfully and completely myself.
So in addition to being willing to lay one’s life down for a friend, I think Unconditional Love is another mark of Biblical friendship. Unconditional love that includes commitment and confrontation.
In my next Blog I want to write about another mark of Biblical friendship that is hard to practice—at least for me. Are there no easy ones?
Jim
posted by jim 7:59 PM 0 comments
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